Showing posts with label Coo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coo. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Getaway

This is where Mace and I got to spend three amazing days all by ourselves.  No kids, no distractions, just each other.  It was quiet. It was magical.  It was awesome.


Mace and I are a couple that crave alone time together.  We get out on dates as often as possible, and count the minutes til the girls go to bed so we can be alone together.  We love spending time with each other and are pretty good at making that happen.  Except, just for short periods of time.  

Anna was 15 months old before I left her with my parents overnight and went to a Bed & Breakfast for a whopping 12 hours.  We have done one or two other overnights, but never longer than 24 hours.  Never longer than 24 hours, I said.  When Mace and I finally realized that we hadn't been away together for a weekend in over four years, we knew that had to be remedied immediately.  And remedy it we did.

We packed the girls up and sent them to my parents for two nights, and then my sister and bro-in-law's for a night. Three whole nights!  72 lovely, uninterrupted, kidless hours.  It was unbelievably heavenly.

We got to connect in a way that we've never done in the past four years.  We got to finish every conversation we started, unless it was interrupted by a spontaneous kiss.  

We got to eat entire meals without children on our laps or hearing the inevitable, "I don't like that!"  

We got to hike for miles and hours on the Superior Hiking Trail, thinking only of our own need for water, food or rest.  


We spent an entire afternoon in almost complete silence, reading and dozing as the feeling struck us. 


We drank too many glasses of wine without worry of having to get up in the middle of the night with a child.

We browsed in art galleries and shops in Grand Marais without fear of something being broken by little hands. 


We laid in bed until 9:00 each morning and let the sun soak in and warm us through the windows. 



We talked and we talked and we talked.  We fell deeper in love, though neither of us thought that possible.  And we dreamed.  We remembered dreams we used to have and created new dreams together. We had time. Beautiful time, just for each other and ourselves.  


We vowed to make sure we don't go another four years without a weekend getaway.

When we returned on Sunday we were met with the sweetest smiles and hugs.  We were all ready to be together again, refreshed and renewed from our time apart.

And, something unexpected from our trip, was this new bond our girls formed with each other.  They were apart from us, but had each other the whole weekend.  From that time together a new kind of love for each other was created.  Awesome.


Oh life is good.  So very wonderfully good.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

SAHM I Am

"I am Sam. Sam I am."
-Intro to Dr. Suess' beloved children's book Green Eggs and Ham.

"I am SAHM.  SAHM I am."
-Intro to my beloved new career.


SAHM, the acronym for Stay-At-Home-Mom.  Its my job, its my title, its what I do.  It used to bug me when the first question people asked when I met them is "What do you do?"  I mean really really really bugged me.  "I'm an accountant at the University," I would mumble.  Because, why should I be immediately be defined by what I do?  I wasn't proud of my job, I wasn't excited about my job, and the first thing people would say is "I hate numbers" or, "I could never do that, it'd be so boring!" Touché my friends.  Although I love numbers fiercely, the work was very dull.  I was always convinced that people would think that I was dull and would immediately start in on all the reasons I worked such a dull, dreadful job and how I was actually a fun and exciting human being.  Ugh.

When we moved back to Minnesota from Montana I was so excited to be done with my "dreadful accounting job" and working my dream job of SAHM.  Except, that it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be.  Claire was 7 months old, Anna almost 3.  There wasn't much we all enjoyed doing together as a threesome and I was struggling to find things to fill our days.  I was lonely, anxious, mildly depressed and kicking myself for thinking this grass was going to be so much greener.  I wasn't happy at all.

So, I decided to pursue my other dream job.  I got a job as a baker.  And for almost a year it really truly was a dream job.  Someone was paying me to bake! I got some time away from the girls and when people asked me what I did for a living I proudly beamed "I'm a baker."  And then the next question was always an inquiry about the time I had to get up in the morning.  4 am.  That was the killer.  For awhile it worked because I was so in love with this job.  Mace made compromises, our family made compromises.  I was tired all the time, I was cranky, the girls and I had dreadful afternoons after I got off work, things went downhill.  Suddenly my dream job wasn't working for our family anymore.

Fast forward to now.  I have restarted my dream job of SAHM.  There are a few key things I have learned about being a SAHM that changed this job for me from lonely/anxious/depressed mom to happy/blessed/joyous mom.  I am going to share these things in another post because they have been critical to my current success as a SAHM. And now, I'm proud to tell people what I do.  I'm proud when people say "I could never do that, it'd be so hard to hang out with kids all day!"  Yes, some days it is.  Some days it totally sucks like every other job.  But most days, most days are the most precious, awesome exciting days of my life.  I get to be with two of my favorite people in the world all day long.  My life feels full now.  My heart is often on the verge of exploding because it is so full of love and gratitude.  This is a very bold statement but: I am happier than I have ever been in my life.  My dreams have come true.

I am SAHM.  SAHM I am.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Home

Home...the word leaves my lips in a soft flutter of love and yearning.  Its a place that lives in my heart and feels like humid summer days, laughter, sunshine and unconditional love. Its singing, baking, snuggling, cooking...being together.

Home...its a place.  Its a welcoming house, a familiar tree, a river, a highway.

Home...its a feeling.  Its comfort, deep sighs, relief, collapsing, trusting, believing, knowing.

Home...its people.  Its Dada, Momma, Nana, Poppy, Gammy, Grandma, Grandpa.  Its Auntie, Bruncle, Uncle.  Its D, Bubba...friends that are your family.  Its every person, loved so deeply, you don't remember life before them.


Home...its riding shotgun into the sunset next to the man of my dreams, and dreaming together. Its comfortable silence and comfortable conversation.  Its the absence of awkwardness and the presence of everything familiar.

Home...its a safe place.  The safest place.  A place to land when you've used up all your other cards.  When you have no other place to go, its home you go.  Because you know you will be taken care of.  Its my parents rubbing my head in their laps, telling me this too will be okay.  Its always been okay.


Home...its my daughter's smell and soft coos while I rock her to sleep.  A soft kick from my unborn daughter.  My head tucked in the spot made for me, just below my husband's chin.  Its my parents' embraces and snuggles, that never get old, even as an adult.

Home...its forgiveness.  Its fighting, and anger, and then making up.

Home...its sisters who know your heart in a way that no one else does.  Its my husband who can soothe my anxious spirit with a simple touch.  Its my two-year old daughter, who I am certain I have known for eternity.  Its our unborn daughter who has already made our life feel complete.

Home...its praying for each other, rooting for each other, wanting nothing but "perfect" for each other.  And when perfect doesn't come...cheering anyway.

Home...its lovingly creating a space to come home to for our own children.  A place where they can land softly, and a place where they will learn and grow and flourish.  A safe place, a happy place, a place that is laughter, comfort, forgiveness, rawness, fullness, empathy and, always and forever...unconditional love.