"I am Sam. Sam I am."
-Intro to Dr. Suess' beloved children's book Green Eggs and Ham.
"I am SAHM. SAHM I am."
-Intro to my beloved new career.
SAHM, the acronym for Stay-At-Home-Mom. Its my job, its my title, its what I do. It used to bug me when the first question people asked when I met them is "What do you do?" I mean really really really bugged me. "I'm an accountant at the University," I would mumble. Because, why should I be immediately be defined by what I do? I wasn't proud of my job, I wasn't excited about my job, and the first thing people would say is "I hate numbers" or, "I could never do that, it'd be so boring!" Touché my friends. Although I love numbers fiercely, the work was very dull. I was always convinced that people would think that I was dull and would immediately start in on all the reasons I worked such a dull, dreadful job and how I was actually a fun and exciting human being. Ugh.
When we moved back to Minnesota from Montana I was so excited to be done with my "dreadful accounting job" and working my dream job of SAHM. Except, that it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. Claire was 7 months old, Anna almost 3. There wasn't much we all enjoyed doing together as a threesome and I was struggling to find things to fill our days. I was lonely, anxious, mildly depressed and kicking myself for thinking this grass was going to be so much greener. I wasn't happy at all.
So, I decided to pursue my other dream job. I got a job as a baker. And for almost a year it really truly was a dream job. Someone was paying me to bake! I got some time away from the girls and when people asked me what I did for a living I proudly beamed "I'm a baker." And then the next question was always an inquiry about the time I had to get up in the morning. 4 am. That was the killer. For awhile it worked because I was so in love with this job. Mace made compromises, our family made compromises. I was tired all the time, I was cranky, the girls and I had dreadful afternoons after I got off work, things went downhill. Suddenly my dream job wasn't working for our family anymore.
Fast forward to now. I have restarted my dream job of SAHM. There are a few key things I have learned about being a SAHM that changed this job for me from lonely/anxious/depressed mom to happy/blessed/joyous mom. I am going to share these things in another post because they have been critical to my current success as a SAHM. And now, I'm proud to tell people what I do. I'm proud when people say "I could never do that, it'd be so hard to hang out with kids all day!" Yes, some days it is. Some days it totally sucks like every other job. But most days, most days are the most precious, awesome exciting days of my life. I get to be with two of my favorite people in the world all day long. My life feels full now. My heart is often on the verge of exploding because it is so full of love and gratitude. This is a very bold statement but: I am happier than I have ever been in my life. My dreams have come true.
I am SAHM. SAHM I am.